Its like if Bongzilla chilled the fuck out, listened to a bit of Corrupted or something. The fuck do I care what it sounds like, theres a naked chick on the cover, of course I'm going to listen to it. And if it happens to possess the aural equivalent of the Spencer's Gifts-style hammer I imagine the giant from that story would use to crush that little kids bones to make his bread or whatever, so be it.
I thought they broke up, cause I was at what was billed as their last show like a year ago. Or maybe it was that their guitarist was leaving the band. She was real cute... I want to say Coffins was opening for them, strange as it sounds, and maybe… fuck it, I don't really remember. The bassists kid was running around near the stage, though, real little guy; I see a lot of kids at shows these days, toddlers really, running around near the speakers, getting their ears blasted off, all the while not being particularly metal or even really likable. At all. Like there was this one kid at… GTK and Rei-no-K (fyiaka Chuugakusei Kanoke) last weekend over at Chop… what the fuck? Get your kid out of my face.
I see that, and I say to myself, "Would I let my kids do that?" to which I respond, "who the fuck cares, dude, yr not old yet. Go drink more beer, and pretend that girl over there is eyeballing you" and I go drink more beer and am at ease but only so much because that girl really does look like she's eyeballing me and I'm stuck guessing whether or not I should go talk to her, and if I did what I would say so as not to look like such a fucking idiot. Beerbeerbeer, and the night inevitably ends with an explosion of loneliness precisely when I open the door to my apartment, all alone and hours later but ears still buzzing, and my only solace in the sweet waves of bass crashing over my already irreparably damaged eardrums emanating from my pizza-sauce caked laptop speakers. Maybe next time, Champ, maybe next time.
Anyway, I guess they're still around cause I'm seeing shows with them on the bill at Earthdom, among other places, starting next month. Killer.
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