ice dragon. no seriously, thats their name

here's a band called ice dragon. :|

they make doom metal :|


So anyways, imagine if Ozzy was frozen in time and was brought back in order to sing for a band that really likes Black Sabbath. Now imagine if during the freezing process Ozzy's voice was dulled and reduced to just being able to kind of howl with help of vocal distortion. I mean... ok I don't hate this band at all. I think I just really hate the name of the songs. "White tusks" "dusk". One great song name is "Interspecies Communication" which is perfect! I love songs about a walrus and a penguin having a telepathic bond.

They took a lot of the good ideas from Black Sabbath, but unfortunately took some really bad ones from Neurosis. The noise opening of no real purpose that I guess is supposed to build anticipation? anyone know why these happen? So theres that... which is completely forgivable because at least this one is music, Neurosis and Isis just have dumb noise background sounds that mean nothing to anyone and despite what they are thinking DOES NOT create a mind state and a vision for the audience and the album DOES NOT tell a story.

Worse than that however and far less acceptable is 2 tracks back to back one 45 seconds and one 2 minutes that absolutely accomplish nothing. Its kind of bothersome actually that these happen, they completely annoy me whenever they come on and really just take away from what really could be...and I hate to type something like this. My favorite whateverdumbgenrethisis album of the year of whateverdumbyearthiscameout. It's Sabbathy riff worship but it's really enjoyable, and Hole in the Sky is my favorite Sabbath song, and this band knows that, and does not disappoint me for it.

Now I know I typed some things knocking this band but it's only because I'm uncreative and boorish. But whatever, they got me to like a band in a genre that I really thought I'd never listen to in any strong capacity save the 20 albums I already liked. I hate that they have a song called "Poseion's Grasp" because when it comes on my mp3 player and I have the device in my pocket I just hear the song and I don't have to read what the name of it is. And its kind of like in Funny Farm when Chevy Chase is eating "lamb fries" at the local restaurant and doesn't know what it is, he's enjoying them immensely, in fact he sets the record for consumption, and everything is fine... then he finds out that they are in fact deep fried sheep testicles and he throws up.

ice dragon

bandcampy

forgotten legends of the hidden tomb

forgotten tomb is a band that some of you may have forgottenBAWHWHHA get it? anyways remember when everyone liked doom metal? well this is one of those bands that shouldn't have been so much laughed away like all the others. they released a new album and i'm sure its beating a dead shitty horse but who gives a shit at least they don't play sludge right?

no one could possibly look to dl this after that review


that review really was gutless so heres a youtube video to click play on to sell the band because i refused to



they're italian so theres a chance mari has given one of them an hj, or alberto tomba, or gattuso

coffins - ancient torture

i'm sorry friends. i been in hermit mode for a while. theres not much to report anyway, but i wanted to post this.

I'm sick of people saying Coffins are good only because they are from Japan. I'm over the whole "japs are superior" horseshit. They are tiny technical people with straight pubes. They aint that damn great. I love coffins though, and it aint because they are from japland.

this is a 2cd comp of all their splits and such. enjoy.

dl

ultralord - we hate you and we hope you die (2006)

well in a shocking turn of events here is more upsetting doom metal aptly titled "We Hate You and We Hope You Die" not a great listen for anyone who has a healthy relationship with anyone. album will not blow you away with its strong musicianship or lyrics or production. but it is some real fantastic music. dudes from rune and fistula are in this band and they are not in this band to make feel good music.

angry mother fuckers who will never bum you out with a noise track or anything that could come close to be defined as "filler". so if you're like me and the last thing you ever want to hear again is another fucking isis wanna be band than this is perfect for you, or say if you are less than pleased with a current situation with work or you piss off your commander and get demoted to harbor police, or your exwife is dating some suit who gets front row seats at an orioles game and your kids tell you how much better they are than the ones you could afford, or your partner shoots an undercover cop and has to become a teacher, or you start banging out a campaign advisor and she only uses you as a dick robot and she belittles you for not being politically savvy, maybe you light everything on fire just to watch it burn? mcnulty ftw.

or say you're like me and you fucked a girl on a jetski once than by all means download this because you are fucking awesome.


ultimate warrior

Starchild dp

so... now that the bruins are all but eliminated from playoff contention i find myself 224$ a game richer. and that must sound great to those of you who are fucking dead inside and only value money in which case i sincerely hope horrible things happen to you and someone you love. now i realize that the start of baseball isn't for another month so now so i find myself in a depressing purgatory of waiting the clock out. its funny how that works i guess, modern man throws himself into anything but his own reality to just fucking kid themselves. im so bored i might start watching lost or something, just kidding fuck that stupid go nowhere show.


its a weird subculture, the not-yet adult mid 20 year olds who would rather invest himself in sports and music. which brings us to starchild, a self described cosmic doom. which in itself is perfect. negative reaction seems like the only other comparable band, mostly because they basically sound the same.

2 great albums that i've had for years now of great enjoyment, doom metal with cosmic themes silversurfer metal fuck the world.

born into eternity is less long winded and catchier than st, but st though less streamlined is definitely better for those who aren't enjoying things at a particular moment, both albums are must haves. just for different reasons. this music is what gets the most hits, so do the right fucking things, eyehategod in outerspace. great deal for all involved. im passing you the fucking ball here dunk it you piece of shit.


born into eternity
st

The Descent Of The Sun - Until The Dark (2009)

ambient black doom metal....fuck

i was hoping a blackened doom act would think of a band name that involved a sun disappearing/being swallowed/dying/burning out in some form or another. the track listings account for 2 burzurm covers "Illa Tidandi" and "Gebrechilchkeit" which is odd considering its an entire album of burzurm covers. anyways if you like burzurm you have burzurm, as well as the 100 other bm bands that ripped them off all of which blew this release out of the water

i know you're sitting at home right now staring into a screen looking to hear new music, looking for a 40 minute ambient blackened doom song followed by 2 covers and a intro track that you might as well delete before you even listen to it.

this fucking cd starts with nothing and goes nowhere. ambient blackmetal can be great with bands like abyssic hate but these mother fuckers just went off the deep end of pretentiousness. 36 minutes of the same fucking atmospheric din synth fucking haunted house distorted vocal chimes in the backround, who the fuck put this album out? are you shitting me? i'd get bored fucking a pornstar to this. the film brown bunny went more places than this album did.

upsides: they successfully killed the black and white album cover of snowy trees trend that had to fucking die eventually.

their logo is hilarious including batwings and a pentagram, its like they crossed out "3 inches of blood" and put theres over it.

their album cover made me think of calvin and hobbes, their music reminds me of if calvin left hobbes on a keyboard set to "gloomy:(" and someone recorded it while calvin made dinosaur noise in the background

all in all i'd say this cd is a dullfucksaster. but if you like paint drying or youre a fusion powered space ship test astronaut and your life is so exciting and full of meaning and you need monotony or you'll end yourself i say dive on this.


DL.