metal.

ok yeah
i've lacked in metal recently and its partially my fault for not being 14 anymore and its partially metal's fault for being stalled in shit since 2003.
anyways

i'm going to pretend its not a dead genre and post at least 6 metal posts in a row. which isn't that impressive when you think about it, but look on the bright side, you get to see me type "kind of like (insert either neurosis, sabbath or electric wizard here) but" at least 6 times. and its always funny trying to differentiate between bands and what not

but first i will make it easy and just post a band that completely ripped off electric wizard. I liked that one album by ew, but i didn't like it enough to start a band and play cover songs, but thats me.

So anyways I'm gonna make up a back story of this band because I don't actually approach giving enough of a shit to really look it up. Straight out of North-Central Missouri The Lords of Doubt grew up the sons of rich dairy farmers, bored of the teet as all men eventually become they started watching the foodnetwork marathons on repeat, in doing so got caught up in cupcakes and the competition there in. starting a cupcake tumblr called "cup my balls" they eventually were sewn into the cup cake counter culture or "cccc" and some say single handedly help spearhead at least 4 internet memes that were GIGANTIC in the individual sized desert based scene.




Contacted by a fat former rockerbilly woman with an overbite that has 2-300 facebook pictures of her over saturated smoking on the top of her uncles "roadster" (88' cutlas supreme) Dent, the drummer of the group slowly fell into stoner metal, her second favorite love after checking in at tattoo parlors on foursquare. After a month his relationship with Rosie the XXL Riveter fell apart, but not Dent's thirst to drink from the metal chalice. Dent used his charisma to charm his friends into thinking metal wasn't embarrassing and even persuaded them to invest in instruments. Met with reasonable questions Dent went undaunted by his love. And marched on.

"vintage 1960s equipment?"
"nah fuck that, lets just tune the shit in the studio with protools" Dent said.

"what about the fact we have no talent?"
"we'll just play slow enough so we don't sound like assholes, its ok we'll fit right in"

"album art is hard to do, should we spend some money on it and try and get something that isn't redundant and well traveled for our genre of music, maybe try one thing different since our music sure as tits isn't?"
"nah fuck that lets just have your kid brother trace the witch cult idea font and we can use a spirit caravan album cover...just add snakes or tits or whatever"

"isn't this kind of counter productive to music itself? won't people be sick of us?"
"theres a whole nation of rich kids paying good money to try and look scummy, i'll be damned if we won't go try and sell them merch"


Dent had an answer for everything, except "why" or "please don't we have too many as it is do you have any decency?"


anyways like everyone who likes stoner metal Dent is a fucking chode. Lying to his bandmates he says things he could never prove. "corrupted was really good dude, I listen to all their mp3s and I'm even bidding on some of their records on ebay"

"dopesmoker is a totally great song and is completely rewarding to get all the way through, 30 minutes in theres this sick part that everyone should hear"

"high on fire on the jagermeister tour? thats pretty fucking cool"

"wino's solo and acoustic work is definitely worth a listen"

So here it is. Heres what Dent fucking made.

lord of doubts

anyways dent emailed his albums demo around and here it is. if you like a lot of electric wizard or a little st vitus you'll probably be sick of this by the time you listen to it. see if you can pick the parts that are influenced by e.w. and the parts that are completely lifted from them.