shazam marcellus wallaces.

realtime review.


so

rap again huh?

well as you know critic praised rap always is the best rap to ignore. remember digable planets? they did "cool like dat" which could be the worst song ever. well one of those dicks went on to be heard from 17 years later with this group. its funny that you can't use "sing" or "band" with rap without it looking out of place.

so this is his third release as...shabazz palaces. sweet name. the first song is two songs in one, where the song is going at a reasonable pace and then it switches pace after about 3 minutes and becomes a different song.

pitchfork gave this album an 8.8 mind you. I guess if they figured if tricky always got credit he didn't deserve why not give it to shabazz palaces. half way through the second song it switches tempo but it actually becomes great. wait... is this good?

who started the rapping with no emotion monotone trend? i can't blame gangstarr, infallible does not begin to define guru. the great part of the song went away and now they have about 80 sounds playing at different paces to i guess try and make one wall of sound type thing and it just sounds really off putting and clustered.

third song refuses to fucking start. its like post-rap has finally hit us and already gotten passe and obnoxious. they skipped mogwai and went straight on to this will destroy you. song 3 is actually going at a nice pace now 2 minutes later and is kind of gaining momentum.... does post jazz rap exist yet? this would be rap if ulver put out rap. this would be rap if

i left and changed my shorts. not because this album made me defecate or anything but just because i realized its 6pm i'm not leaving my house why not be in basketball shorts. thats not necessarily a good thing. this album has no interest in keeping my attention, maybe thats good. song 4 is a story about meeting a woman i guess and wanting to fuck her tits off. ok this is the first song with a definitive chorus and its so uncatchy you'd think this was an old man gloom song, except someone actually listened to it.

ok...song 5. really clever name youlogy. think about it man. youlogy...get it? ok i used the song a little too loosely. this is a track on a record. not really a song i guess, songs by definition are :

1 the act or art of singing
2 poetical composition
3 a short musical composition of words and music
this is none of those things. and to call it that is just foolish.

does underground rap realize it doesn't need to not be catchy to not be confused with ludacris and snoopdog? it is possible to make a good song with out showing out for the white cops. song 6 is a jazz song with a nice start and a really nice female voice and doesn't belong on this album therefore belonging perfectly on this album. see now i think there would be a market for track 6 if it stays on this pace, people would like a jazzy triphop. like if lauryn hill sang for portishead.


7. well let me just say i'm 20 seconds in and i'd like to begin my requiem for track 6. soul singer in the background as the main tracker of a beat this would be refreshing if i didn't hear kanye west do this 40 times already. well the lady is gone, back to really bad slow rapping that doesn't really rhyme or make any sense. he's using big words and is using terms like "We do-s it" like "we doo zit" not sure if dead prez needed to fuck kanye west and have a kid but here it is and it is still born but still loud and boring.

i skipped the end of that song, it wasn't as bad as some of the others but after track 6 it was like jurrassic park 2, it didn't suck but it followed the unfollowable. if track 7 was jurrassic park 2, than track 8 is jaws3d. "the kings new clothes were made by his own hands" oh were they? i can't believe this but kid cudi does spacerap better than this overpraised pile of fuckslits. subpop put this out? really? subpop could do no wrong with me i thought. oh well, can't win them all i guess. and there is the glaring issue that a lot of people liked this album and me not liking it means fuck all.

2 more to go. this is a fucking marathon did anyone tell these guys that people have been buying albums the last couple years? if this album came out right after digable planets the worlds minds would be blown. but unfortunately tricky kool keith kanye west and outkast happened so everything that this band does new isn't really new, and i'm not a rap conniseur so whatever acts koolkeithkastkanye ripped off really is owed an apology. i guess this is a political song, i can't really tell with the pitched vox. i'm gonna guess that it indicts the status quo as fools and i can save time and go to the next...oh the song ended i don't even have to skip it.

maybe i'm just used to rap songs starting right away with vocals but waiting 40 seconds for the vocals to start is kind of a bit to ask for with me. i guess this is the indict modern day rappers as having misplaced value systems track. this would be hard hitting if it hadn't been done 100 times, yes i understand that guns and bling aren't the way to go. but obviously the higher than thou version of that is way fucking rockier of a road to attempt to negotiate.

all in all this album eats my dick. download it because pitchfork said it was great and i'm sure their writers are better than me, but if they put this on in my car i would honestly bum everyone the fuck out via road tumble.


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