en route to sushi review

i planned on reviewing "one starving day - atlas coelestis" today after work, but got invited to sushi and partook on the journey, so while i'm in the backseat sitting next to a girl that won't shut up i decided to type a quick review on this bands release. and mean release in the same way an elephant releases 4lb clumps of shit.

Who invented long musical intro tracks? Can they be retired already? This band sets up so long for the first song you'd think they had a reasonable following or fan base that would be willing to sit through this garbage. The intro sounds like the beginning of a weezer track that skips take your time boys. No rush. Just alienate what would be a new listener. HOLY SHIT 3 MINUTES IN AND A FUCKING SONG HASN'T STARTED YET. At this point the band had better go for broke in the next 40 seconds to save this disaster. I assume this band produced this album themselves or had their girlfriend or friend do it. Because no one who doesn't unconditionally love a band would accept this.

Bordering 5 minutes now. How can they do this to me? I promised myself I'd listen to this album. I'm typing this review in real time. Different sounds but when the song does not fucking get going after a while it becomes a joke. Who picked this as an opening track? This is despicable.

Like an icepack to a bad burn the song finally does what I assume is supposed to be "a beginning" I guess people would call this free form jazzy because it doesn't seem like anyone is playing at the same time and there appears to be saxaphoning going on. I'd just stick to the term "horsefuckingshit"

Are the guys screaming in the background or is this more indeterminable music noises? How do guys get their instruments to make sounds like this without seeming talented or interesting? This is a 10 minute song with a 1 minute intro. 11 minutes. I couldve sworn it was 25. Holy shit they're playing samples from television shows from past decades. How many fucking post rock bands do this? Godspeed is owed severe royalties.

Song #2... That's right we're only 2 songs in. Song #2 starts out with what I assume is supposed to be a lovely eclectic orchestral compilation of various instruments. The problem is every instrument is playing a different song. I feel like these kids would've gone to Berkley school of music had they the resources. Those kids have their heads destroyed in their own asses too. Try walking down mass ave in Boston past the opera house and before the Charles without seeing 20 douche bags.

Ok now someone definitely is doing an aaron turner impression with these backgroundy screams. I hope the drummer paid neurosis for the locust star drum sound because holy shit its almost identical. At least this band picked good bands to rip off with. The problem is the parts they try to expand on and do themselves falls so fucking short I almost wish these guys would break up and either not try again.

My track listings are as follows 1,1,1,1,2,2,2,2 I hope this is an error by the mp3s I downloaded because if not this band might actually be half as pretentious as the mars volta. These guys however are so lost they should be renamed the mars dolta.

Song 6 million. Or apparently 5 is called the drift of Andromeda. IS IT?!? I bet this album tells a really really boring fucking story that no one could give a shit about. At least when oceanic did that the music was entertaining. More neurosis drumming less reason for it. Now they're just lifting the sound that "the eye of every storm" had. The barren wasteland guitars that seem hopeless remember everything that made that album great? Now picture guys from a pop punk band trying to recreate it with only 2 listens to it.

Feedback to start a song huh guys? You don't think it wasn't hard enough to get to this point as it is huh? Stop challenging your audience you're not fucking andy kauffman. Jesus fucking christ I'm not uploading this band and theres no fucking way i'm punishing myself with another track of this fuck.

so anyways that was awful
here's parliament's mothership connection to make up for it

dl.